{"id":53314,"date":"2025-06-12T14:12:16","date_gmt":"2025-06-12T11:12:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/?p=53314"},"modified":"2025-06-12T14:30:24","modified_gmt":"2025-06-12T11:30:24","slug":"how-to-support-childs-feelings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/en\/how-to-support-childs-feelings","title":{"rendered":"How to Support Your Child\u2019s Big Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every day, children experience a wide range of emotions. One of the most important life skills is learning to recognize and process these emotions. Books and life experience can help\u2014but children learn this best in the real world with attentive adults by their side.<\/p>\n

\u2757 Why It Matters<\/h2>\n

When children understand their emotions and can express them, those emotions start to help rather than hinder them.<\/p>\n

Research shows that emotional intelligence (the ability to understand, manage, and use emotions effectively) is linked to less stress, anxiety and depression, prosocial behaviors, better peer relationships, and better academic performance. In essence, emotional intelligence promotes resilience, the ability to manage and recover from challenging situations.<\/p>\n

Expressing emotions means putting them into words, showing them through facial expressions and body language, and sharing what you feel. It\u2019s not about \u201cbottling up\u201d or \u201cletting it all out\u201d\u2014it\u2019s about experiencing emotions in a safe and balanced way, both for the child and those around them.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udc63 5 Steps to Talking About Emotions and Building Emotional Connection<\/h2>\n

World-renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman developed an approach that helps parents support their children during moments of strong emotion. It includes five simple steps:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Notice the emotion<\/strong>\u2014through behavior, tone of voice, facial expression. For example, your child might frown, grumble, or light up with joy.<\/li>\n
  2. Choose the right moment<\/strong>\u2014 connect when your child is open to it.<\/li>\n
  3. Show acceptance<\/strong>\u2014\u201cYou\u2019re feeling angry. That\u2019s okay.\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re so happy! I love seeing you like this.\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. Help name the emotion<\/strong>\u2014\u201cAre you feeling hurt?\u201d \u201cIt looks like you\u2019re sad.\u201d \u201cYou seem excited, is that right?\u201d<\/li>\n
  5. Look for solutions together<\/strong>\u2014\u201cWhat could help you right now?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Conversations like these help children become more self-aware and able to recognize, acknowledge, and accept their emotions instead of ignoring them or feeling ashamed of them. It\u2019s important not to label emotions as \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad\u201d\u2014even anger, fear, or shame can reveal what truly matters to a child and where their personal boundaries lie.<\/p>\n

    Feeling any emotion is completely normal. And when a child knows this, it\u2019s easier for them to relate both to themselves and to others.<\/p>\n

    \ud83d\udde3 When to Talk About Emotions<\/h2>\n

    If your child is crying, yelling, or slamming doors, it is quite likely they won\u2019t be able to hear you in that moment. What matters more than anything is offering support, not trying to start a conversation.<\/p>\n

    A helpful tool for recognizing when your child is ready to talk is the \u201cZones of Regulation\u201d framework developed by occupational therapist Leah Kuypers. It teaches children to recognize their emotions and manage them.<\/p>\n

    Occupational therapy<\/em> helps children (and adults) develop skills for everyday life\u2014like getting dressed, playing, learning, and interacting with others. It\u2019s especially useful for children who struggle with motor control, emotions, attention, or handling daily challenges.<\/p>\n

    According to this framework, emotional states fall into four zones:<\/strong><\/p>\n