We analyzed examples based on the real experience of parents, deduced common patterns\u2014when, how, and why children steal at a certain age\u2014and suggested strategies based on the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) behavioral studies in children as well as on \u2018The Discipline Book\u2019 by Martha Sears to help parents deal with kids who steal.<\/p>\n
Contents:<\/h2>\n\n- The Phenomenon of Stealing in Children<\/a><\/li>\n
- Why Do Kids Steal?<\/a><\/li>\n
- Stealing in Children in Various Age Groups\u00a0<\/a>\n
\n- Pre-school Age\u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n
- School-age<\/a><\/li>\n
- Adolescence\u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
- Parenting Mistakes<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to React Appropriately to Children Stealing?<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to Discipline a Child Who Lies and Steals?<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to Prevent Stealing in Children<\/a><\/li>\n
- FAQs<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
The Phenomenon of Stealing in Children<\/h2>\n![\"psychological](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/05\/Fenomen-detskogo-vorovstva-1024x731.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Almost every one of us has felt the desire to possess something that did not belong to us, at least once in our lives. But in most cases, something kept us away from crossing the line. What was it? Strong morale? Willpower? Or perhaps the fear of punishment?<\/p>\n
Some children have developed \u2018immunity\u2018 against theft at an early age. Others, however, don\u2019t seem to understand the idea of ownership. It\u2019s why theft might be an everyday occurrenc,e of which the child does not even feel ashamed.<\/p>\n
The psychology of stealing in children is such that the actions of a child do not always hold a criminal rationale behind them. Moreover, children may not always understand that their action is a manifestation of a bad deed. It might not be that they have any mental health conditions or other behavior problems\u2014perhaps they just wanted that item really badly. Therefore, before blaming a child for having a criminal predisposition, you will, first of all, need to find out the reason why your son or daughter began stealing.<\/p>\n
Do you suspect stealing by your child? Can’t get the truth from them? Find out how things really are\u2014<\/span>download the Findmykids app from the App Store<\/a> and Google Play<\/a>.<\/p>\nWhy Do Kids Steal?<\/h2>\n
The reasons for which children start taking the possessions or the money of others can be classified into five main types.<\/p>\n
1. Impulsivity, the lack of self-control or willpower<\/h3>\n![\"why](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/person-wearing-red-hoodie-3281130-1024x681.jpg\" "\\"why")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Normally, arbitrary behavior<\/a> is formed by the time children reach the age of 6-7 years old. Before this age, it\u2019s difficult for a child to cope with their immediate desires, and they might have poor impulse control. For example, bringing their favorite toy home from kindergarten or eating sweets from the table when their parents are visiting their friends.<\/p>\nWhat infuriates parents the most is that a child does not understand the severity of their actions, does not feel remorse, and does not apologize. There is a simple explanation for that: the sections of the child\u2019s brain responsible for self-control and moral behavior have not yet matured. That\u2019s good news because the stealing might not be due to any underlying issues, but simply because of the child\u2019s immaturity.<\/p>\n
2. The feeling of inferiority in the child<\/h3>\n
These problems stem from parent-child relationships.<\/p>\n
Mothers and fathers in such families may be busy making money or raising younger children. As a result, the child does not feel loved or needed and suffers from loneliness. They feel the need to draw the attention of their parents to themselves, and so theft takes place.<\/p>\n
The action doesn\u2019t have anything to do with the idea of ownership or even wanting a particular item too much, but rather with the desire for parents to focus on the child.<\/span><\/p>\n3. A lack of distinction between what\u2019s theirs and what\u2019s not<\/h3>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/girl-with-wooden-toys-3662945-1024x682.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Yes, it may seem that children should be familiar with these notions from the moment they are born. However, a large number of cases of stealing in children suggest otherwise, as they happen mostly because of an incorrectly formed morality.<\/p>\n
The child may simply not understand why their mother\u2019s scarf can be taken from the closet; however, the mother\u2019s wallet is a banned zone. And why not take that wonderful red car toy from their friend Stephen? Stephen is a friend, hence it surely means that the car belongs to Stephen as much as it belongs to Stephen\u2019s friends. You\u2019ll notice that grown children have a better idea about ownership rights, so this should resolve as they age.<\/p>\n
4. Kleptomania<\/h3>\n
Kleptomania is a pathological urge to steal something. The stolen object usually does not even hold any value for the child. They grab the first thing they see, and then forget about it or lose it very quickly.<\/p>\n
True kleptomania is rare. Children who have it suffer from organic brain damage. Theft is set in their perception and fixed as a form of conditioned response. Educational measures are useless in this case, and the assistance of a mental health professional is required since kleptomania is a psychiatric disorder.<\/p>\n
5. Being forced to do so<\/h3>\n![\"how](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/hurt-4935524_1920-1024x683.jpg\" "\\"how")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Peer pressure is a common cause of stealing among school-aged children, perhaps more so than psychological problems or any kind of personality disorder. <\/span>Classmates or older children can extort or take money from a child. Children are afraid to let a family member or other adults know, which eventually involves stealing.<\/span><\/p>\nThe child may also be addicted to illegal substances and may be stealing money to purchase more drugs.<\/p>\n
Stealing in Children in Various Age Groups<\/h2>\n
Stealing is fairly common at any developmental stage, and while it doesn\u2019t necessarily indicate any kind of emotional problems or things of that nature, it can be helpful to understand what might cause it at various stages.<\/span><\/p>\nPre-School Age<\/h3>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/toddler-reading-book-1257105-1024x682.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
The term \u2018theft\u2019 is not really applicable to a preschooler, as their actions don\u2019t hold criminal reasoning behind them.<\/p>\n
Very young children don\u2019t steal; they just take someone else\u2019s things without permission. Pre-schoolers take things because they do not yet have a clear distinction between what\u2019s theirs and what\u2019s not.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s for this reason that your pre-schooler might come home with a stolen item, either from a friend\u2019s house or the grocery store. The concept of ownership just isn\u2019t something this age group understands until they\u2019re a bit older.<\/p>\n
A real-life example:<\/strong> Matt brought a tower crane toy to kindergarten. The kids asked Matt if they could play with it, but Matt said ‘no‘<\/span> to everyone, even to his best friend Sam. When Matt\u2019s mother was picking Matt up from kindergarten in the afternoon, the crane disappeared from the child\u2019s locker. Everyone went searching for it, but it was nowhere to be found. On the following day, it turned out that the crane was taken out of the locker by Sam when nobody was watching. He wanted to punish Matt for being greedy and enjoying playing with the toy.<\/div>\nAt this young age, it\u2019s crucial to reinforce to young kids that stealing is wrong. This will help to prevent future bad behavior.<\/p>\n
according to a 2017 study published by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP)<\/a>, it\u2019s recommended that parents talk to their pre-schoolers about empathy and why stealing is wrong.<\/p>\nTalking to pre-schoolers about empathy helps them learn to respect other people\u2019s belongings just as they respect their own belongings. It reinforces the idea that stealing is wrong and encourages more ethical behavior.<\/p>\n
School-Age<\/h3>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/girl-peeking-over-on-brown-wooden-table-3972183-1024x682.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
When children reach school age, it\u2019s not uncommon for stolen objects to be small items like stickers or toys. In the majority of these cases, kids steal spontaneously. They simply don\u2019t think about the consequences of their actions and the feelings of others.<\/p>\n
Theft at a school age often involves lying. When caught stealing, this age group will lean on lying, even when caught red-handed. Through a child and adolescent lying, children seek to avoid fair punishment for their wrongdoing<\/a>.<\/p>\nA real-life example:<\/strong> The teacher has given the task to cut mushrooms out of colored paper. Hannah\u2019s mushrooms turned out to be the prettiest ones: her mother bought a special self-adhesive film and colored every mushroom together with Hannah. After the lesson, the children went into the canteen to have lunch, and the mushrooms were left on the desks in the classrooms. Upon return, Hannah found someone else\u2019s mushrooms on her desk. After the teacher\u2019s investigation, Hannah\u2019s mushrooms were found on Steph\u2019s table\u2014<\/span>a girl from a low-income family who has already been involved in similar situations.<\/div>\nTheft in school-age children is caused mainly by a lack of impulse control, which is very common in this age group. Kids steal because they just don\u2019t think about the consequences of their actions.<\/p>\n
Incorporate household rules into your family life to help teach your school-age child that stealing is wrong.<\/p>\n
according to research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)<\/a>, establishing family rules creates structure. Structure better helps children know which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.<\/p>\nIn addition, household rules and the consequences for breaking these rules can include an emphasis on honesty, trust, and respect for property. When these rules get broken, children will know that their habit of lying or stealing will result in appropriate disciplinary action<\/a>.<\/p>\nAdolescence<\/h3>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/02\/beautiful-girl-1024x683.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Once your child becomes an adolescent, you might want to give them a clean slate for deeds done before. However, if stealing continues, it could be due to other reasons.<\/span><\/p>\nThefts committed by adolescents are often associated with the desire to purchase something that is considered to be \u2018in trend\u2019 with the aim of becoming a part of the group of their peers.<\/p>\n
Adolescents with underdeveloped willpower and unformed moral principles are much more likely to steal. At this child\u2019s age, stealing can also be motivated by other members of the friend group.<\/p>\n
A real-life example:<\/strong> Charlotte was growing up as a calm and exemplary girl. She was doing well at school and helping her mother around the house. Everything changed when Charlotte turned 15 years old. She started going on night walks with a group of friends, as well as being dishonest and skipping classes. Her parents were worried that their daughter had changed so much, but they were hoping that this behavior would revert to normal soon. And then, one day, out of the blue, the phone rang and the parents were told that Charlotte was taken to the police station on suspicion of complicity in car theft. It turned out that a teenager from Charlotte\u2019s friend group stole the keys to his stepfather\u2019s garage to drive his car around with his friends. The teenagers broke into the garage, took the car out, and then got stopped by the police: an alarm in the garage went off as the boys forgot to turn it off.<\/div>\nThe truth is, children steal. However, if parents don\u2019t intervene or do something to stop this behavior in its tracks, the stealing continues into adolescence. That\u2019s the time when you should act to ensure healthy aging and avoid serious problems once the child grows up.<\/span><\/p>\nHere are some tips on how to get stealing children to stop:<\/p>\n
\n- Enforce Consequences.<\/strong> Depending on the type of stealing your teen participates in, severe consequences might be in order. For example, if a younger sibling takes their older sibling\u2019s clothing consistently without asking, making that younger sibling share their clothing might serve as a suitable punishment. However, if your teen shoplifted from a clothing store, giving them extra chores until they can pay back the stolen goods is a better way to enforce the consequence of their actions.<\/li>\n
- Remove Temptations. <\/strong><\/strong>To help your teenage family members break free from their impulse to steal and lie, work together to problem-solve some solutions. One solution is to remove temptations from your teen\u2019s life. For example, set up a new rule if your teenager shoplifts from the mall after school with friends. Don\u2019t allow them to go to the mall without adult supervision. Maybe your teenager is stealing items from a friend\u2019s house. Remove the temptation by not allowing them to go to friends’ houses until they can rebuild your trust.<\/li>\n
- Seek Professional Help. <\/strong>If your teen is engaging in an activity that goes above and beyond taking a friend\u2019s toy, seeking out a school psychologist or adolescent psychiatrist is a good way to help your teen understand why stealing and lying are wrong. A professional can identify the root problem, which can sometimes include mental health and behavioral concerns, conduct, and social issues.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Are you worried about your teen? Put an end to your sleepless nights and help your child. Download the Findmykids app from the App Store<\/a> or Google Play<\/a>, in order to use the location services or the wiretapping of the surroundings.<\/p>\nParenting Mistakes<\/h2>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/girl-4656163_1920-1024x683.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
To help guide parents in how to act when it comes to stealing and lying, here are a few examples of parenting mistakes:<\/p>\n
\n- A lack of intervention occurs when stealing or lying is caught. Identifying the problem for a child early in their development helps them understand why the behavior is wrong sooner rather than later.<\/li>\n
- Accusing, name-calling, blaming, or shaming. A child needs to know that what they\u2019ve done is wrong. However, parents need to build trust to receive trust. Positive reinforcement is key to changing problematic behaviors.<\/li>\n
- Providing a punishment that is too extreme or too lenient. The punishment for lying or stealing must fit the crime.<\/li>\n
- Lack of connection. Connecting with a child helps parents teach empathy and know when their child is lying.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
How to React Appropriately to Children Stealing?<\/h2>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/selective-focus-photography-of-child-hand-1250452-1024x682.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
If your child has stolen and brought home someone else\u2019s possession, such as a toy:<\/p>\n
\n- Take a deep breath, and don\u2019t lose your cool. You need to respond in a positive way that teaches your kid not to steal again. This prevents stealing from becoming a habit.<\/li>\n
- Have a one-on-one conversation. Explain to the child the nature of their actions and the potential consequences.<\/li>\n
- If the toy that was brought home certainly belongs to someone else, it would need to be returned with apologies presented to its owner.<\/li>\n
- Express your attitude towards the theft. Tell the child that it\u2019s not something acceptable in your family. You should also let them know how upset the person who no longer has their toy or money feels.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
If your child stole some money:<\/p>\n
\n- Try to find out what the child needs the money for.<\/li>\n
- If the child is getting blackmailed by older children, there is no point in scolding them; they may already be threatened. Ask them to provide details on the situation. Get the police involved if needed.<\/li>\n
- If the child is trying to win their classmates over by buying them sweets and toys with the stolen money, explain to them that friendship can not be built solely on materialistic aspects. Offer the child other ways to win friends\u2014for instance, by inviting them over to your house, on a picnic, watching a movie, etc.<\/li>\n
- It often happens that children steal money with the goal of attracting the attention of their loved ones. Spend time together, and express interest in their life.<\/li>\n
- Come up with an appropriate form of punishment.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
How to Discipline a Child Who Lies and Steals?<\/h2>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2020\/04\/DSC-172-1024x684.jpg\")
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
It\u2019s absolutely crucial for parents to make sure that their child understands how serious it is to lie and steal. However, it\u2019s also critical in forming close relationships to make sure that children know they aren\u2019t bad people.<\/p>\n
To help discipline a child, here are some tips on how to stop a child from stealing and lying:<\/p>\n
\n- Don\u2019t ignore a lie or theft. Discuss the wrongdoing with your child and find a collective solution.<\/li>\n
- Avoid any form of ‘public punishment’. Have a one-on-one conversation with your child.<\/li>\n
- Don\u2019t rush to accuse a child of stealing or lying. Keep the presumption of innocence in mind.<\/li>\n
- Refrain from bold statements such as ‘you are a thief’, ‘you will go to jail’, or ‘you will become a criminal when you grow up’. Replace them with ‘softer’ terms, such as ‘taking someone else\u2019s possessions’ and ‘taking something without permission’.<\/li>\n
- Try to find out the reason why the child started stealing money or something else. If the child starts lying and denying their wrongdoings, don\u2019t insist. Give them time to reflect on their actions.<\/li>\n
- If you have tried everything to stop your child from stealing and lying, seek the help of a psychiatrist<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- \n
- Pre-school Age\u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n
- School-age<\/a><\/li>\n
- Adolescence\u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
- Parenting Mistakes<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to React Appropriately to Children Stealing?<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to Discipline a Child Who Lies and Steals?<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to Prevent Stealing in Children<\/a><\/li>\n
- FAQs<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
The Phenomenon of Stealing in Children<\/h2>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Almost every one of us has felt the desire to possess something that did not belong to us, at least once in our lives. But in most cases, something kept us away from crossing the line. What was it? Strong morale? Willpower? Or perhaps the fear of punishment?<\/p>\n
Some children have developed \u2018immunity\u2018 against theft at an early age. Others, however, don\u2019t seem to understand the idea of ownership. It\u2019s why theft might be an everyday occurrenc,e of which the child does not even feel ashamed.<\/p>\n
The psychology of stealing in children is such that the actions of a child do not always hold a criminal rationale behind them. Moreover, children may not always understand that their action is a manifestation of a bad deed. It might not be that they have any mental health conditions or other behavior problems\u2014perhaps they just wanted that item really badly. Therefore, before blaming a child for having a criminal predisposition, you will, first of all, need to find out the reason why your son or daughter began stealing.<\/p>\n
Do you suspect stealing by your child? Can’t get the truth from them? Find out how things really are\u2014<\/span>download the Findmykids app from the App Store<\/a> and Google Play<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Why Do Kids Steal?<\/h2>\n
The reasons for which children start taking the possessions or the money of others can be classified into five main types.<\/p>\n
1. Impulsivity, the lack of self-control or willpower<\/h3>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Normally, arbitrary behavior<\/a> is formed by the time children reach the age of 6-7 years old. Before this age, it\u2019s difficult for a child to cope with their immediate desires, and they might have poor impulse control. For example, bringing their favorite toy home from kindergarten or eating sweets from the table when their parents are visiting their friends.<\/p>\n
What infuriates parents the most is that a child does not understand the severity of their actions, does not feel remorse, and does not apologize. There is a simple explanation for that: the sections of the child\u2019s brain responsible for self-control and moral behavior have not yet matured. That\u2019s good news because the stealing might not be due to any underlying issues, but simply because of the child\u2019s immaturity.<\/p>\n
2. The feeling of inferiority in the child<\/h3>\n
These problems stem from parent-child relationships.<\/p>\n
Mothers and fathers in such families may be busy making money or raising younger children. As a result, the child does not feel loved or needed and suffers from loneliness. They feel the need to draw the attention of their parents to themselves, and so theft takes place.<\/p>\n
The action doesn\u2019t have anything to do with the idea of ownership or even wanting a particular item too much, but rather with the desire for parents to focus on the child.<\/span><\/p>\n
3. A lack of distinction between what\u2019s theirs and what\u2019s not<\/h3>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Yes, it may seem that children should be familiar with these notions from the moment they are born. However, a large number of cases of stealing in children suggest otherwise, as they happen mostly because of an incorrectly formed morality.<\/p>\n
The child may simply not understand why their mother\u2019s scarf can be taken from the closet; however, the mother\u2019s wallet is a banned zone. And why not take that wonderful red car toy from their friend Stephen? Stephen is a friend, hence it surely means that the car belongs to Stephen as much as it belongs to Stephen\u2019s friends. You\u2019ll notice that grown children have a better idea about ownership rights, so this should resolve as they age.<\/p>\n
4. Kleptomania<\/h3>\n
Kleptomania is a pathological urge to steal something. The stolen object usually does not even hold any value for the child. They grab the first thing they see, and then forget about it or lose it very quickly.<\/p>\n
True kleptomania is rare. Children who have it suffer from organic brain damage. Theft is set in their perception and fixed as a form of conditioned response. Educational measures are useless in this case, and the assistance of a mental health professional is required since kleptomania is a psychiatric disorder.<\/p>\n
5. Being forced to do so<\/h3>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Peer pressure is a common cause of stealing among school-aged children, perhaps more so than psychological problems or any kind of personality disorder. <\/span>Classmates or older children can extort or take money from a child. Children are afraid to let a family member or other adults know, which eventually involves stealing.<\/span><\/p>\n
The child may also be addicted to illegal substances and may be stealing money to purchase more drugs.<\/p>\n
Stealing in Children in Various Age Groups<\/h2>\n
Stealing is fairly common at any developmental stage, and while it doesn\u2019t necessarily indicate any kind of emotional problems or things of that nature, it can be helpful to understand what might cause it at various stages.<\/span><\/p>\n
Pre-School Age<\/h3>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
The term \u2018theft\u2019 is not really applicable to a preschooler, as their actions don\u2019t hold criminal reasoning behind them.<\/p>\n
Very young children don\u2019t steal; they just take someone else\u2019s things without permission. Pre-schoolers take things because they do not yet have a clear distinction between what\u2019s theirs and what\u2019s not.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s for this reason that your pre-schooler might come home with a stolen item, either from a friend\u2019s house or the grocery store. The concept of ownership just isn\u2019t something this age group understands until they\u2019re a bit older.<\/p>\n
A real-life example:<\/strong> Matt brought a tower crane toy to kindergarten. The kids asked Matt if they could play with it, but Matt said ‘no‘<\/span> to everyone, even to his best friend Sam. When Matt\u2019s mother was picking Matt up from kindergarten in the afternoon, the crane disappeared from the child\u2019s locker. Everyone went searching for it, but it was nowhere to be found. On the following day, it turned out that the crane was taken out of the locker by Sam when nobody was watching. He wanted to punish Matt for being greedy and enjoying playing with the toy.<\/div>\nAt this young age, it\u2019s crucial to reinforce to young kids that stealing is wrong. This will help to prevent future bad behavior.<\/p>\n
according to a 2017 study published by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP)<\/a>, it\u2019s recommended that parents talk to their pre-schoolers about empathy and why stealing is wrong.<\/p>\n
Talking to pre-schoolers about empathy helps them learn to respect other people\u2019s belongings just as they respect their own belongings. It reinforces the idea that stealing is wrong and encourages more ethical behavior.<\/p>\n
School-Age<\/h3>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
When children reach school age, it\u2019s not uncommon for stolen objects to be small items like stickers or toys. In the majority of these cases, kids steal spontaneously. They simply don\u2019t think about the consequences of their actions and the feelings of others.<\/p>\n
Theft at a school age often involves lying. When caught stealing, this age group will lean on lying, even when caught red-handed. Through a child and adolescent lying, children seek to avoid fair punishment for their wrongdoing<\/a>.<\/p>\n
A real-life example:<\/strong> The teacher has given the task to cut mushrooms out of colored paper. Hannah\u2019s mushrooms turned out to be the prettiest ones: her mother bought a special self-adhesive film and colored every mushroom together with Hannah. After the lesson, the children went into the canteen to have lunch, and the mushrooms were left on the desks in the classrooms. Upon return, Hannah found someone else\u2019s mushrooms on her desk. After the teacher\u2019s investigation, Hannah\u2019s mushrooms were found on Steph\u2019s table\u2014<\/span>a girl from a low-income family who has already been involved in similar situations.<\/div>\nTheft in school-age children is caused mainly by a lack of impulse control, which is very common in this age group. Kids steal because they just don\u2019t think about the consequences of their actions.<\/p>\n
Incorporate household rules into your family life to help teach your school-age child that stealing is wrong.<\/p>\n
according to research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)<\/a>, establishing family rules creates structure. Structure better helps children know which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.<\/p>\n
In addition, household rules and the consequences for breaking these rules can include an emphasis on honesty, trust, and respect for property. When these rules get broken, children will know that their habit of lying or stealing will result in appropriate disciplinary action<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Adolescence<\/h3>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Once your child becomes an adolescent, you might want to give them a clean slate for deeds done before. However, if stealing continues, it could be due to other reasons.<\/span><\/p>\n
Thefts committed by adolescents are often associated with the desire to purchase something that is considered to be \u2018in trend\u2019 with the aim of becoming a part of the group of their peers.<\/p>\n
Adolescents with underdeveloped willpower and unformed moral principles are much more likely to steal. At this child\u2019s age, stealing can also be motivated by other members of the friend group.<\/p>\n
A real-life example:<\/strong> Charlotte was growing up as a calm and exemplary girl. She was doing well at school and helping her mother around the house. Everything changed when Charlotte turned 15 years old. She started going on night walks with a group of friends, as well as being dishonest and skipping classes. Her parents were worried that their daughter had changed so much, but they were hoping that this behavior would revert to normal soon. And then, one day, out of the blue, the phone rang and the parents were told that Charlotte was taken to the police station on suspicion of complicity in car theft. It turned out that a teenager from Charlotte\u2019s friend group stole the keys to his stepfather\u2019s garage to drive his car around with his friends. The teenagers broke into the garage, took the car out, and then got stopped by the police: an alarm in the garage went off as the boys forgot to turn it off.<\/div>\nThe truth is, children steal. However, if parents don\u2019t intervene or do something to stop this behavior in its tracks, the stealing continues into adolescence. That\u2019s the time when you should act to ensure healthy aging and avoid serious problems once the child grows up.<\/span><\/p>\n
Here are some tips on how to get stealing children to stop:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Enforce Consequences.<\/strong> Depending on the type of stealing your teen participates in, severe consequences might be in order. For example, if a younger sibling takes their older sibling\u2019s clothing consistently without asking, making that younger sibling share their clothing might serve as a suitable punishment. However, if your teen shoplifted from a clothing store, giving them extra chores until they can pay back the stolen goods is a better way to enforce the consequence of their actions.<\/li>\n
- Remove Temptations. <\/strong><\/strong>To help your teenage family members break free from their impulse to steal and lie, work together to problem-solve some solutions. One solution is to remove temptations from your teen\u2019s life. For example, set up a new rule if your teenager shoplifts from the mall after school with friends. Don\u2019t allow them to go to the mall without adult supervision. Maybe your teenager is stealing items from a friend\u2019s house. Remove the temptation by not allowing them to go to friends’ houses until they can rebuild your trust.<\/li>\n
- Seek Professional Help. <\/strong>If your teen is engaging in an activity that goes above and beyond taking a friend\u2019s toy, seeking out a school psychologist or adolescent psychiatrist is a good way to help your teen understand why stealing and lying are wrong. A professional can identify the root problem, which can sometimes include mental health and behavioral concerns, conduct, and social issues.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Are you worried about your teen? Put an end to your sleepless nights and help your child. Download the Findmykids app from the App Store<\/a> or Google Play<\/a>, in order to use the location services or the wiretapping of the surroundings.<\/p>\n
Parenting Mistakes<\/h2>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
To help guide parents in how to act when it comes to stealing and lying, here are a few examples of parenting mistakes:<\/p>\n
- \n
- A lack of intervention occurs when stealing or lying is caught. Identifying the problem for a child early in their development helps them understand why the behavior is wrong sooner rather than later.<\/li>\n
- Accusing, name-calling, blaming, or shaming. A child needs to know that what they\u2019ve done is wrong. However, parents need to build trust to receive trust. Positive reinforcement is key to changing problematic behaviors.<\/li>\n
- Providing a punishment that is too extreme or too lenient. The punishment for lying or stealing must fit the crime.<\/li>\n
- Lack of connection. Connecting with a child helps parents teach empathy and know when their child is lying.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
How to React Appropriately to Children Stealing?<\/h2>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
If your child has stolen and brought home someone else\u2019s possession, such as a toy:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Take a deep breath, and don\u2019t lose your cool. You need to respond in a positive way that teaches your kid not to steal again. This prevents stealing from becoming a habit.<\/li>\n
- Have a one-on-one conversation. Explain to the child the nature of their actions and the potential consequences.<\/li>\n
- If the toy that was brought home certainly belongs to someone else, it would need to be returned with apologies presented to its owner.<\/li>\n
- Express your attitude towards the theft. Tell the child that it\u2019s not something acceptable in your family. You should also let them know how upset the person who no longer has their toy or money feels.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
If your child stole some money:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Try to find out what the child needs the money for.<\/li>\n
- If the child is getting blackmailed by older children, there is no point in scolding them; they may already be threatened. Ask them to provide details on the situation. Get the police involved if needed.<\/li>\n
- If the child is trying to win their classmates over by buying them sweets and toys with the stolen money, explain to them that friendship can not be built solely on materialistic aspects. Offer the child other ways to win friends\u2014for instance, by inviting them over to your house, on a picnic, watching a movie, etc.<\/li>\n
- It often happens that children steal money with the goal of attracting the attention of their loved ones. Spend time together, and express interest in their life.<\/li>\n
- Come up with an appropriate form of punishment.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
How to Discipline a Child Who Lies and Steals?<\/h2>\n
Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
It\u2019s absolutely crucial for parents to make sure that their child understands how serious it is to lie and steal. However, it\u2019s also critical in forming close relationships to make sure that children know they aren\u2019t bad people.<\/p>\n
To help discipline a child, here are some tips on how to stop a child from stealing and lying:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Don\u2019t ignore a lie or theft. Discuss the wrongdoing with your child and find a collective solution.<\/li>\n
- Avoid any form of ‘public punishment’. Have a one-on-one conversation with your child.<\/li>\n
- Don\u2019t rush to accuse a child of stealing or lying. Keep the presumption of innocence in mind.<\/li>\n
- Refrain from bold statements such as ‘you are a thief’, ‘you will go to jail’, or ‘you will become a criminal when you grow up’. Replace them with ‘softer’ terms, such as ‘taking someone else\u2019s possessions’ and ‘taking something without permission’.<\/li>\n
- Try to find out the reason why the child started stealing money or something else. If the child starts lying and denying their wrongdoings, don\u2019t insist. Give them time to reflect on their actions.<\/li>\n
- If you have tried everything to stop your child from stealing and lying, seek the help of a psychiatrist<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
- Remove Temptations. <\/strong><\/strong>To help your teenage family members break free from their impulse to steal and lie, work together to problem-solve some solutions. One solution is to remove temptations from your teen\u2019s life. For example, set up a new rule if your teenager shoplifts from the mall after school with friends. Don\u2019t allow them to go to the mall without adult supervision. Maybe your teenager is stealing items from a friend\u2019s house. Remove the temptation by not allowing them to go to friends’ houses until they can rebuild your trust.<\/li>\n
- School-age<\/a><\/li>\n
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